When You Have a Non-Standardized Student Living in a Standardized World

January 20, 2016

I get it. With thousands and thousands of students in a school, combined with millions of students nationwide, you need some way to assess their performance to help identify those who are “achieving.” It is a common-sense solution to an industrial situation.

This is the same reason there are quality control scanners on an assembly line to make sure a product is acceptable.

I totally get it.

But when it comes to the education of human beings, the idea of standardization just doesn’t work. Yes, we all have human brains. But the similarities end right there. Despite all our advancements in science, we still cannot quantify the way our brains work, the capacity for creativity and understanding, or the interconnectivity of the neuron network. Each individual is just that.

Individual.

So when we try to assess performance and ability with standard exams, we are really not getting the complete picture of a student.

You have probably heard how Albert Einstein, arguably one of the most brilliant minds known, failed high school. Actually, he did not fail. He just excelled so greatly in math that he spent most of his time doing advanced math and science courses. Thus, he didn’t study most of the other subjects. When he took his entrance exams for the prominent Federal Academy, he didn’t pass because he did poorly on the non-science subjects. So Albert had to “remediate,” going back to study the subjects he hadn’t had the chance to study.

As homeschoolers, we are doing things in a non-standardized way. We understand how our students learn and can adjust our teaching methods to fit their learning style. They may excel in some subjects and struggle with others. Let’s face it…we all excel in some and struggle with others, don’t we? In a brick-and-mortar school, advanced students have to slow down to keep up with the rest of the class. And students struggling with a subject are frustrated when the class moves too quickly for them. I REALLY admire how teachers in a large classroom have to try to meet all these individual needs. They can’t do it all, can they? So some students become bored while others get discouraged.

We, on the other hand, can slow down when we have a struggling student. And we can speed through lessons when we have one who really gets it, too. So most homeschooled students are ahead of grade level in some subjects and behind grade level on others.

Just like Einstein!

And that is OK. In fact, it is one of the advantages of schooling them at home.

But we LIVE in a standardized world. How do we help our students navigate that? How do we prepare them?

Again, it comes to tailoring their learning styles to the lessons you present. For example, one of my kids has mild dysgraphia, a processing issue where it is difficult to write what you are thinking. He has great reading comprehension and could verbally respond to questions, but when it came to writing them down, he struggled. We tried several ways to work through this, and often I let him type out his answers, which was easier for him. It took him much longer to work through this issue, but we kept at it, slowly building those writing skills as we more rapidly worked through the subject material.

Another one of my children struggled with ADHD. When he was younger, just getting him to stay on task was nearly impossible. I tried everything. I took away all distractions in the room. I kept it very quiet.

Once, I even tried having him take a small quiz while I put up one of those three-sided cardboard display boards around him. I peeked around the board 15 minutes later and guess what I saw? He was slowly running his fingernail back-and-forth across the little cardboard ridges.

Yep. Even cardboard distracted this child.

I wondered to myself, “How can a child who can sit for hours building advanced Lego models not sit for a few minutes to take a simple quiz?”

And then it hit me.

I grabbed one of his smaller Lego models. Then I found a small 15 question math quiz. I instructed him to do problem #1 on the quiz, then do Step 1 of the model. Then do problem two of the quiz and Step 2 of the model. And so on.

Do you know it took him all of 12 minutes to complete the quiz AND the model?

Now, short of having him enter his SAT exams carrying a bucket full of Legos, I had to take this new discovery and build on it. I first helped him to understand that he actually had the capacity to focus! He felt very accomplished that day. So we tried other ways to help him build his focusing skills. And he did better, though it took years.

You see, if someone had my kids take a standardized test at any point in their K-12 education, we would definitely see subjects where they did pretty well and others where they did poorly. Some of it would be due to gaps in our educational curriculum as compared to what the national system says should be taught (just like Einstein). Some had greater skill at actually taking a standardized test, with all its bubbles to fill in and the counting-down timers. Others did not.

The great moral to my story here is that each of us is created uniquely. Amazingly unique. We won’t all do well on standardized exams because PEOPLE ARE NOT STANDARD. Helping your students understand that from early on will benefit them as they navigate this inside-the-box world. Give them lots of opportunities to find areas they love…places where they excel. Use those areas as launching points to help build other areas.

Continue to encourage them. Learn what makes them tick. And know that God perfectly created them for a great purpose. Your goal is to help them find it and then give them the tools to pursue it!

This is the absolute BEST endeavor you can have. You are raising your children to seek God and discover how they can serve Him!

How to Teach and Connect with Your Science/Math Geek

January 7, 2016

Let’s face it. You aren’t guaranteed that all your children will be just like you. In fact, it is pretty likely that you’ll have at least one that is VERY different. After talking with parents from around the country, I have noticed a common pattern. You see, I am a science geek. I love all things science. I even love many forms of science fiction (that will be another post). So I am often requested (volunteered) to teach and tutor science subjects. And, of course, I love that!

But many parents come up to me asking how to connect with their science-directed children. The conversation usually begins like this:

My desk-top friend!

“I know you love science, but frankly my husband and I have never really enjoyed it. I hated it in school. We love literature, writing, and history, but this child of ours struggles with those subjects. He is very strong in science and math, but we just don’t know what to do with him? How do we give him what he needs? How do we even talk to him?”

Believe me, I get it.

You see, though my husband and I love learning about, talking about, and teaching science (we met as physics lab partners in college!), we have “one of those” children, too. Our child was born a creative, artistic musician. He began playing piano on his own at age 3 and hasn’t stopped: classically trained in piano, adept at several instruments, college educated in music theory (he got a 5 on his AP Music Theory exam!) and jazz bass, and now professionally playing “gigs.”

He speaks music.

Well, I don’t. I certainly appreciate music and the creative realm it involves, but I can tell you that as he was growing up, his personality was polar opposite of mine. His learning style was completely different. The subjects he loved baffled me (No, I DON’T know what that poet really meant when he wrote that poem…he is dead now, so we will never know!).

I truly understand when you say you have a child who is very different from you.

Well, coming from the science/math-lover world, here are a few suggestions to help you better connect with your budding STEM-ist.

I had to take a vacation trip to the Arctic Circle!

  1. Show interest in THEM. Your child needs to know that you consider what he loves to be important. If it is important to him, then it is important to you, because you love him. That doesn’t mean you have to LOVE it, but you love HIM enough to enter his world. Ask questions. Dialogue with her. If you have a child who loves space and rockets, then look for cool videos you can watch together. Troll the NASA website for interesting topics. Look up her favorite subject matter on Creation websites such as Institute for Creation Research, Creation Ministries International, or Answers in Genesis. Or check out some of the science subjects I have blogged about!
  2. Find others who can pour into them. If you don’t feel comfortable teaching science or math, look for other avenues. Local co-op classes often offer science and math courses. There are many, many options for online or DVD courses. Look at your local museum or science center to see if there are any enrichment classes available (be aware that these likely will be taught with a secular world view, so make sure your student is prepared to engage in that environment).
  3. Incorporate science and math into their other subjects. This is especially helpful with elementary and middle-school aged students. If you have a reluctant writer, have him write a prequel to his favorite sci-fi movie. Let him illustrate it, too, for an added art element. If you have a computer geek, ask her to create a graphic to highlight major points of a historical era you are studying. I am sure she would have fun making a cool one on the Civil War or the Colonization Era.
  4. Realize that they are MADE this way. Yes, students need to be well-rounded and have educational instruction in all areas, but LET THEM EXCEL in the areas they love. Don’t hold them back. God has perfectly created them like this and I believe He will use their uniqueness in a mighty way!

So when you step back and scratch your head as you look at what your child is doing, wondering if she will ever learn those vocabulary words or if he will ever finish reading Tom Sawyer, just know that each one of your children has unique gifts and abilities. Homeschooling them gives you the perfect arena to build those skills while rounding out the other ones, too. You can tailor their educational experience to make this journey truly one that is out of this world!

Packing Up Christmas Decorations and the Fossil Record

December 29, 2015

No doubt, right now you are facing a houseful of decorations, wrapping, and other Christmas paraphernalia, trying to encourage yourself to take it all down and put it away. You’ve likely moved furniture around to make room for the Christmas tree, nativity, and other festive décor. Now, it’s time to get back to a bit of normalcy.

(Sigh.)

I get it. It’s waaay more fun to put it all UP! The children are excited about the Christmas season, school is out, and there seems to be much more energy. After the celebrations, everyone is tired from late nights, off-schedules, and probably too much junk food.

But there is a bright side to this project. In our house, we made it a bit of a party…including hot chocolate, fun music, and then popcorn and a movie afterward.

I have another idea to “redeem the time” while you take the Christmas decorations down. Make it educational.

How in the world is this chore educational!?

Well, it is a great visual for how the fossil record on earth came to be. The fossil record represents the total of all the discovered fossils in the world. Now, fossils are the remains of once-living creatures. They are found in a type of rock called sedimentary rock. Sedimentary rock was laid down by water, the sediments (like the soft sand at the bottom of lakes and rivers) settling out after they are stirred up. Well that means fossils were laid down by water, too. When most people think of fossils, the first creatures that come to mind are dinosaurs and other “exciting” organisms. But you need to know that the majority of all the fossils on earth are those of hard-shelled creatures, like clams. And these guys are found in every region of earth, in every layer of the fossil record. That makes sense, because the harder something is, the easier it is to become fossilized. The fun fossils that you always read about in books, such as those of reptiles, birds, plants, and mammals are exceptionally rare to find!

Sedimentary rock is made up of lots of layers, called strata, and we find that the fossils found in each layer tend to be very different from each other. Those hard-shelled clam-like animals are found throughout the layers, but if we don’t consider them, we see the differences. Well, these layers had to be laid down one at a time, the older ones below the younger ones.

Now the big controversy with this is how long it took for each of these layers to form. Some scientists believe it took millions and millions of years for each layer to form, trapping some creatures with it as the sediments buried them. But others (including myself) believe that these layers formed rapidly, due to a major catastrophe. We actually see both of these things happening today. At the mouths of rivers, for example, there is a slow deposition of sediments that the rivers carry as they dump out into oceans. However, we see rapid sedimentary layers form when there are catastrophic events, such as the eruption of Mount St. Helens in Washington. The huge sediments that resulted rapidly settled out, forming a large number of sedimentary layers and trapping any creature in their path.

Now, I am not going to go into which of these ideas is correct (For further reading on this, see the note at the end.), but one feature of the fossil record is agreed upon by everyone. The lower the layers, the older the sediments. The first layer was laid down, trapping some creatures as it settled out. The next layer formed on top of it, trapping other creatures. And so on.

Well, what in the world does this have to do with Christmas decorations?

Image courtesy pixabay

Consider your Christmas tree. What is the first thing you did to decorate it? Most people string lights first. Then they add garland. Finally they put on the ornaments. That is so the ornaments are the most noticeable. Well, how will you take your tree down? You first remove the ornaments, right? They are the uppermost layer, or “stratum,” of your tree. So you can talk about how that layer is the youngest, or the most recently placed. The next layer would be the garland that comes off next. It would represent an older stratum than the ornament layer. And, finally, the oldest layer would be the Christmas lights.

You probably created layers on Christmas morning, too. Think of the wrapping paper. The first presents were opened and the wrapping paper was strewn on the floor (or thrown into a garbage bag). The more recently opened presents had paper that was thrown on top of the first ones. And it continued on and on until the wrapping paper strata were created with the most recent wrapping on top and the oldest on the bottom.

You see? It is a great visual image of how our fossil record was formed! Wasn’t that fun? And as you discuss this with your children, your Christmas decorations will slowly be packed up and put away! Now you have the makings of a fossil unit study without even trying!

(For further reading on this topic from a Creationist standpoint, I highly recommend Modules 6-8 in Apologia’s Exploring Creation with General Science. It is a fabulous read for upper middle schoolers through adults and creates great discussion!)

Making Perfect Christmas Traditions with Your Family (List at end of post)

December 15, 2015

For the past 25 years, I have tried to recreate the “Most Perfect Christmas Ever” with my family. Should we always make gingerbread cookies? Do we put a star, an angel, or something unique on top of our tree? Drive around to see the Christmas lights? Dress up in matching sweaters? Get new pjs?

There are just so many options. And as a mom, I want my children to have sweet memories of celebrating Christmas. Secretly, I would even like them to want to continue those traditions within their own households when they grow up. So I did whatever I could to make sure we scheduled (forced) our Christmas plans onto our calendar so we would be sure to create those warm Christmas memories.

My plans were sabotaged from the start.

One of our first Christmases included a joyful stomach virus which was shared with holiday cheer throughout the house. Stomach viruses aren’t Christmasy.

The following year, my beloved Christmas star for our tree-topper was crushed beyond recognition during a move. (Have you ever tried to glue 100s of shards of plastic together?)

Our one attempt at the “matching Christmas sweater” photo turned out OK, but then we had these matching Christmas sweaters for the children to wear the rest of the year. Now, we live in Florida, where the opportunities to wear sweaters are rare. Let’s just say that these garish things never wore out! I wasn’t about to buy more the next year. And my poor third son kept inheriting his older brothers’ sweaters each year as they grew out of them and he grew into them.

I could go on and on with tales of well-intentioned holiday plans that were dutifully messed up by the realities of life, but you get the idea…

Yet, as my children have gotten older, I have discovered something amazing. The traditions happened anyway. Some were traditions I had planned, such as reading the Advent story each week approaching Christmas day. But most…and I mean MOST…happened in spite of me. Last year, I wrote about the “Christmas Stocking Debacle” which took me by surprise.

You see, we can make lots and lots of plans, but the busy-ness of LIFE will often get in the way. Much as I want, I cannot control everything. So I have learned to be flexible. I started to pray before each Christmas season and ask the Lord what He wanted me to do. I stopped forcing things to happen just because I thought I should. And the memories were made.

We spend Christmas Eve with my husband’s side of the family each year. Well, one year, this Italian side of our family decided to make homemade ravioli for our dinner. It was such a success that we did it again the next year. And the next. Now that has become a Christmas Eve tradition that my children look forward to.

One year, during the drive home from Christmas dinner we stumbled upon a neighborhood that had beautiful Christmas lights. Driving around to see Christmas lights has become such a tradition that we now rent a big vehicle just so all of us can still be in the same car to “Ooh” and “Aah” together (We sold our old van a few years ago when everyone bought their own cars).

And there are many more.

So here are my recommendations for making the perfect traditions:

  1. Don’t plan too much. It is OK to plan an annual Christmas photo or a day of cookie baking, but don’t go crazy with your expectations. Those photos may not turn out one year (been there) or you may have a child who develops gluten issues (been there, too). And too many plans actually create stress!
  2. Aim for being together and looking for opportunities that present themselves. If you have a house full of sick ones, maybe this is a good time to begin a tradition of watching Christmas movies and eating soup and grilled cheese.
  3. Be prepared for things you didn’t expect to become traditions to worm their way into your family’s history (refer back to my Christmas Stocking Debacle).
  4. Maybe scale back on the amount or types of Christmas gifts you give. I can speak from experience that the stress of Christmas shopping and the expectations of everyone around you can squeeze the joy right out of this holiday if we let it. Perhaps use some of those cookies you made during your day of cookie baking to fill cheerful gift plates. A group invite to dinner (or dessert) with several families you were planning to host consolidates the events and increases the fun!

5. Make your goal to just BE with your family. Love them. Give extra hugs. Spend more time WITH them (not just in the same house as them) during this season where schedules have slowed down and school is out.

And don’t worry. The traditions will come. The sweet memories will be there. Just pray for flexibility and keep your eyes open to the opportunities around you.

Have a Merry Christmas with your family and friends!

~Sherri

I Am a Marine Biologist, and I Believe in Science (A Scientist’s Testimony to Creation)

December 8, 2015

In the past few months, we have seen several terrorist attacks and horrible shootings on U.S. soil. I was recently reminded about the situation in Oregon where a gunman seemed to single out Christians on a college campus, shooting those who professed to be Christians. We would be foolish to think that this situation couldn’t happen again.

It got me wondering…

What would I say? How would I answer the question of what I believe? Well, I think I could startle the questioner by saying this:

“I am a marine biologist, and I believe what science is showing me.”

Is that a cop-out? Well, in one of those circumstances it might be. If asked if I was a Christian, I would have to answer “Yes” and get ready to be with my Lord!

But let me continue my original statement which I could state with all honesty:

Vibrio_fischeri_PC Vibrio fischeri Genome Project

I am a marine biologist, and I believe what science is showing me. I have studied creatures such as a tiny marine bacterium, called Vibrio fischeri, which is an amazing creature that can bioluminesce. That means it can create its own light. But what is interesting is not how these guys make light (though that is definitely interesting) but WHEN they make light. Scientists found that in a dilute suspension of these bacteria (not many in a certain volume), they made no light, but when the population grew to a certain number, all would bioluminesce simultaneously! I believe that these organisms can bioluminesce at the same time.

How can “simple” organisms tell the difference between being alone and being in a large group of other similar specimens?  They have no eyes, nose, ears, or mouths. Yet scientists discovered they actually talk to each other via a chemical language. You see, alone, a single Vibrio bacterium doesn’t make light, but instead sends out a few molecules (kind of like sending out hormones). No light is made. However, after reproducing and increasing its population (bacteria can reproduce about every 20 minutes), all the new cells make this chemical too. So the amount of that hormone-like molecule outside the cells increases in proportion to number of bacteria in the area. And when a certain quantity of that molecule is present, these “simple” creatures recognize that specific amount, triggering them all to glow at same time. I believe that bacteria can send out molecules to turn on a group behavior.

Bobtail squid NASA

Now these guys live in the body of the Hawaiian bobtail squid. Two lobes on the squid house the bacteria, and when there are enough of them, there will be enough of that molecule and they make light. So the squid glows. This is a type of mutualistic symbiosis where both organisms benefit from this deal. I believe mutualistic symbiosis exists.

The squid lives in shallow water off the coast of Hawaii and it’s nocturnal, meaning it is active at night and “sleeps” in the day, buried in sand, coming out to hunt at night. When there’s lots of moonlight at night, the light penetrates the shallow water where the squid is. The squid has light detectors on its back to see how much light is coming into the water. It also has a shutter that can open or close over its glowing bacteria sacs on its tummy to control how much light is emitted. What is really cool is that it will actually adjust these shutters to match the moonlight, making it “invisible” to predators by not making a shadow. Yes, it is the ocean’s answer to a stealth bomber! I believe this symbiotic relationship helps the squid to hunt invisibly and stay alive.

Now, that Vibrio culture in the squid’s body can’t keep growing and growing or the squid will pop! So every morning, the squid uses a pump mechanism – triggered by the sunrise – and it will pump about 95% of the bacteria out of its body. Now the bacteria in the squid are dilute and there’s not enough hormone molecules around to cause them to make light. That’s OK because the squid sleeps during the day. So as it sleeps, the bacteria continue to reproduce, growing in numbers so that by nighttime, their population is large enough to cause them to glow again, just in time for the squid to hunt! I believe that these organisms couldn’t survive without each other.

Scientists wanted to know how these tiny, “simple” creatures are able identify what’s going on. How do they know the chemical is increasing? Well, with molecular biological studies, they found out that the bacteria have a signal-producing protein which makes the hormone molecule. They also have a receptor to identify this molecule. When there’s enough of that hormone around (which says something about the population of Vibrio bacteria), some of the chemical finds its way into the sensor and tells the cell to turn on its light. In the past 13 years, scientists have discovered that ALL bacteria actually have sensor systems like this. They make chemical words, identify those words and “turn on” a group behavior. I believe that bacteria can communicate.

This process is called Bacterial Quorum Sensing. They vote with chemical votes, and when the vote is high enough (they have a quorum), they respond with an action. A good example of an action besides glowing is virulence. Think about it, if you get a few bad bacteria in you and they secrete bad chemicals, you won’t really be affected by it – you’re giant compared to them, and your body will send out an immune response to swat them like a fly! So the virulent bacteria get into you and wait. They begin reproducing until they have the right population so that the chemical concentration is large enough, and they can all launch their virulence simultaneously to have a better chance of overcoming a huge host like you. I believe I can be “taken down” by tiny bacteria and feel awful within a few hours.

Now, each chemical “hormone” is specific to each species of bacteria and will fit into that species’ partner receptor but not other species. That means within your body, there are private conversations going on between bacteria of the same species. But we know that bacteria don’t live by themselves. They live in large communities of other bacteria, like the many millions living just in the crook of your arm (Don’t worry. Most of them are good for you!). Well, scientists have also found that bacteria are multi-lingual and can not only send one species-specific chemical for communication but also can make and sense a ‘trade language’ chemical which all bacteria identify. This helps them to know how many other species are around. I believe bacteria are multi-lingual.

These multiple languages help them identify how many bacteria are around that are of the same species, and how many are not their species. They use this information, then, to decide what tasks to carry out depending on who’s in the minority and who’s in the majority. I believe bacteria are NOT simple organisms.

You see, I am a marine biologist, and I believe what the science is telling me. Bacteria are the simplest living organisms known to us, and they are thought by some to have popped up out of a primordial ooze that housed all the chemicals needed for life. But as a single cell, these guys do everything that a “complex” creature does: hunt, feed, digest, reproduce, defend themselves, and even communicate!

I believe that science is showing us there had to be an Intelligent Designer for these guys to come into being. In fact, what we are learning about the simplest of creatures tells us they are not really simple at all. They “tell” us they have a Creator.

We humans aren’t the only ones to worship the Creator. All creation sings God’s praise. I am a marine biologist, and I believe in what science is showing me. There is a God. And I worship him along with creation!

Two Major Reasons to Build Academic Independence in Your Teen

December 1, 2015

For those of us who begin homeschooling when our children are young, we become accustomed to working alongside them, teaching them new concepts, repeating information, then reviewing or testing what they have learned. And if you have more than one child, it is so helpful if you can teach all of your children the same material, consolidating your efforts and making education a family endeavor.

If you have brought your child home from public or private school, you likely are working closely with him or her during the transition to make sure things are going well.

That is great! You should be totally aware of what they are learning and how they are doing. After all, we are homeschooling out of a desire to make sure our children thrive and have the best opportunities to learn.

But over the years, I have noticed that homeschool parents can have a hard time transitioning their children to take responsibility for their own lessons and assignments. Sometimes it is because it’s just easier to keep doing the same things with brothers and sisters. It is more work for Mom and Dad to have to deal with separate lesson plans and new curricula as their older ones grow. So they hold the older ones back for a while.

Other parents just don’t want their children to get behind or miss any information if they take on some assignments by themselves. So their high school students have to go to their parents as they complete each assignment and need their parents’ input every hour of the school day.

And other parents just enjoy learning with their children so much that they want to be able to continually engage with them, having deep conversations as new material is covered.

All these are reasonable and even good things, but we need to make sure that we have the right understanding of our position and responsibility as their parents and educators.

You see, we are working to train and educate our children to prepare them to become adults. So, yes, they need to learn lots of “data.” They have to be able to read, comprehend, write, calculate, think logically, know history, science, art, and literature.

But if we are sitting (or hovering) alongside them every step of the way, we are preventing them from growing both academically and in character, too!

In fact, building academic independence benefits your teen in two major ways:

First, they need to be academically prepared for whatever career path or occupation God has for them. By holding them back with their younger siblings for too long, you are deciding FOR them how much academic preparation they will have before they leave the home. And if a particular student is gifted in an area where they are held back, you know what happens…

They become bored and eventually don’t like learning that subject any longer. That is what happens to a gifted student in a classroom environment! The class learns at an average speed, and those who want to learn more become bored and either act up or lose interest. When you have an older student studying with younger siblings for too long, this can happen.

I know it is harder to have another curriculum for an older student. It’s more work, more expensive, and more time. But this is the opportunity to build independence in your older ones. Let them have ownership in choosing their curriculum. Let them help design their lesson plans and be responsible for making sure their work gets done. Give them deadlines with consequences and hold to them. Putting off assignments or doing a poor job will sometimes happen. Wouldn’t it be great to learn those lessons at home before they go into a college classroom or a job situation?

The second reason for building independence is to add to their character. Independence and self-government are critical qualities. Your students need to discover how to motivate themselves to complete assignments even when they don’t feel like it. After all, Life will hit them with this need right away. How many of us have to motivate ourselves to do our taxes each year, even when we don’t feel like it? Right??

Giving them school subjects where they are responsible for the progress is one way to do this. Consider a good time to allow them to get a part-time job or begin a small business, too. This can be combined with some of their academic subjects if it is an internship or is combined with lessons in economics. They will have to plan their weeks to make sure their school assignments are completed and their work schedules are met.

This is a gradual thing. You can still include your older students with your younger ones for some subjects. That situation has its own benefits and blessings. But just don’t forget that we are responsible to help prepare EACH of our children for the unique direction God has for them. They are made with individual strengths and passions, and it is our job…our privilege… to help build those traits so they are prepared to launch!

How Barnacles Illustrate Our Need to Read God’s Word

November 17, 2015

Have you ever noticed barnacles encrusting the bottom of boats? These creatures are not only amazing, but they help us to see an important truth. Many people mistake barnacles as a type of mollusk, similar to clams or oysters. But in reality, they are arthropods, like crabs or lobsters. They have an exoskeleton, which is like a skeleton on the outside of the body instead of inside. Sea barnacles can be found nearly everywhere in the ocean from the deep sea to coastal areas.

When we see them, we are looking at their adult stage, which is a non-mobile stage. Young barnacles actually can swim around and float along with the ocean currents. When they are ready to attach themselves to a hard surface, they look for other barnacles of the same species. That is a good sign that the location is a safe one with plenty of food. You can find barnacles attached to rocks, clams, whales, and even boats. Once attached, they are there for good; they cannot unglue themselves to move elsewhere. That is because they use a unique permanent cement, released from a gland at the base of their antennae. Well, that means, technically, barnacles glue their heads to a surface and hang upside down!

In order to feed, they extend their feathery legs out of their exoskeleton to capture floating plankton.

Boats are actually great locations for barnacles. That’s because they provide great shelter and move around to lots of locations, increasing the chances that the barnacles will come in contact with more food. Of course, for boat owners, they can be a problem. If not regularly removed, barnacles often encrust the hull of a boat so badly that they hide its color and its shape — in some cases you cannot even discern the original shape of the boat.

Their presence slows a boat down, creating drag. That causes a boat to have difficulty moving along in the water. It requires greater energy to propel itself forward and it cannot move smoothly, resulting in a bumpier ride.

Think about that. Boats are designed to move smoothly through the water, creating very little disturbance in its surface as they sail. But when they are carrying a population of barnacles, they have much more difficulty. They move more slowly. They require more energy to go forward. They may not even resemble their original sleek shape anymore.

The extra “baggage” of barnacles creates a great deal of problems.

In my life, I have had to fight off barnacle baggage as well. What do I mean by that? Well, as Christians, we are made pure; our sins are forgiven and we are made clean!

We are like that smooth hull of a boat, gliding through life, unencumbered by things weighing us down. That doesn’t mean life is always easy, but it DOES mean we travel through it with peace and joyfulness. But I often have to struggle with “barnacles” that want to attach to me.

Fear. Feeling unworthy. Holding on to unresolved issues. Lack of patience.

All of these are spiritual struggles I can allow to hold me down. They change my appearance and make my countenance less recognizable. The more that attach, the easier it is for additional baggage to cling to me. You see, if I am fearful, then I chastise myself for feeling that way. I begin to think I am unworthy in God’s eyes. Then I remember other times where I did this and relive them in my mind as “proof.” I chew on those past mistakes and then get frustrated with myself.

Can you see how letting one tiny barnacle into my life makes it easier for more and more to attach? How do I stop this onslaught?

Well, none of these are new issues. God has addressed each of these and more in his word so that we don’t have to let those issues hang on to us and affect everything we do in life.

What are some of your “barnacles” that are making life difficult to live? It doesn’t matter what they are, because God has addressed them in his word for YOU. You see, there is nothing new under the sun. There is no barnacle that Jesus has not covered; there is no issue that is bigger than our Lord.

Seek his word to find what he says about the things weighing you down in your life. Know that you are valued. Know that He is your strength. KNOW you are WORTHWHILE. The God of heaven and Earth has chosen YOU to be his. He knew you from before you were born and he chose you! He will be your strength and is able to help you “scrape” off those things that are clinging to you, holding you down.

Yes, barnacles are amazing creatures. But spiritual barnacles are things we need to deal with daily, preventing them from taking hold of us and slowing us down. How do we keep them from attaching? We need to know the truth of God’s word, daily taking it into our minds and hearts. That provides a kind of non-stick spiritual surface around us, so we can withstand any struggles that come our way.

Seeing the Beauty Behind Change

October 28, 2015

I don’t like change.

I can’t help it. Change often takes more work. I have to alter schedules. Or how I perceive things. Sometimes it means missing someone I love.

Change means I don’t have control over things. You see, when *I* want to make a change, it isn’t really a change but an improvement or a tweak along the course in my life. I LIKE what is changing so it isn’t uncomfortable or painful or stressful. However, when life causes change, it often isn’t within MY PLAN so I painfully realize how not-in-control I really am.

But change is a part of living. We grow, learn, meet new people, change jobs, build relationships, add to our families. People move away. Some pass away. Jobs are lost. Things break down.

Change is constant, and I need to understand it and even embrace it.

I have been in North Carolina for the last week and a half, just in time to witness the beauty of the fall leaves. Living in Florida, I don’t get to enjoy this seasonal glory. Our four seasons consist of summer, tourist season, hurricane season, and Christmas season. (I digress…I LOVE living in Florida!)

Well, as I have been ooh-ing and aah-ing at the glorious reds, oranges, and yellows around me, I began to realize that these rainbow colors are a result of drastic change. You see, as the daylight hours shorten and the weather cools, trees send chemicals to their leaves so that the leaves are cut off from their nutrient pathways and begin to starve. Don’t worry, that is a good thing — so the trees can survive the colder weather. Deciduous trees won’t need to grow much during the winter, and therefore don’t need their leaves to photosynthesize.

As the leaves lose nutrients, they can no longer make food from sunlight, and their green pigment organelles begin to die. They don’t produce any more green color, and acids build up in the leaf cells.

Well, guess what?

That is what allows us to see the amazing colors that are hidden behind the green pigments! Without that change, we wouldn’t get to see the beauty that lies beneath.

And that truth is applicable to us. When things change in our lives, we are stretched. We learn flexibility. We sometimes have to deal with finding contentment. We face loss or pain and have to work through it.

Life brings change because we cannot grow stagnant. We need to go through many of these difficulties so that we can see the beauty on the other side. God is always working in us to make us more like Him. He is re-forming us to create something beautiful!

By dealing with change, we mature. We learn to call out to our Lord. We discover what is important in life (and what is not).

I still don’t get all excited when things change around me, but I am beginning to understand its purpose. Looking back at my life, I can see how being placed in hard situations has made me more courageous and more humble. It has brought me to my knees often in prayer, and I have learned the joys of that habit. And I can try to see the beauty that is coming from this process.

Oh, and one more thing. In this changing world, be encouraged that there is one thing that will NEVER change:

Our Lord is always. He is eternal. He is never-changing, because He is perfect!

And He loves you!

Always.

Is Parenting About the Children or the Parents…or Both?

October 6, 2015

This past week my mind and heart have been focusing on the struggles we parents have. I talked with a mom who shared that she and her husband differ on how to train their children. I’ve been praying for a family who is struggling so much with parenting that it is straining their marriage. Though we can’t solve all parenting problems with a small blog post, this topic is something that needs to be continually brought before us all.

Why is parenting such a challenge?

I love what Paul Tripp says: “We don’t want to parent children who need parenting.”

That’s true, isn’t it? Children who don’t need parenting are well behaved, continually sweet-spirited, selfless, and lovingly obedient. Is that even possible?

Not really. Years ago, I was co-teaching a Sunday school class to middle school-aged students, and they were asked a question: “Are young children inherently good?”

I looked around the room, and noticed lots of heads nodding. Some were vocally saying, “Yes.” But there was one student who answered with a loud, “No!”

Obviously, we were looking for the answer to be “no” in order to explain to them how we are all born with a sin nature. The lesson continued, but I began to think about why that one student was so vocal. He was the only one with a sibling who was very young. He knew first-hand how toddlers tend to behave.

Think about it. What is one of the first words a child learns after perhaps “Dada” and “Mama”?

“No.”

AmIright?

We are not born as children who don’t need parenting!

But that is not our problem as parents. We, in our little selfish hearts, don’t WANT to have to do the work of parenting these little ones who need it. It is a heart issue WE have!

So what can happen?

When an issue comes up with our child, we can become angry that they are interfering with OUR time, OUR expectations of them, and OUR needs. I don’t have time for this! We’ve gone over this a hundred times. How could you defy me like that?

The problem here is we take that opportunity to train them and instead make it all about us. We can get angry. Oh, yes. This parenting thing definitely makes me look inward more than outward!

When we make these times all about us, we are unable to get to God’s grace. These are OPPORTUNITIES folks, not INTERRUPTIONS!

When we react to the situation, we become our child’s adversary. It becomes us and our needs versus them and what they did or didn’t do. But we need to remind ourselves that we are on their side. We need to help them to understand what was going on in their heart when they misbehaved, know what God says about it, and then help them to realize the consequences of that behavior.

Yes, that is all well and good. But I have to admit that some days, I reacted.

“You go to your room! And YOU go to YOUR room! And I’ll go to MY room, and we all can cry into our pillow for a while!”

Not very pretty.

I had to constantly remind myself that I was the parent. I was the adult here, so I had to act like one. I found that this parenting gig brought me to my knees before the Lord more than ever. I saw more and more of the ugliness inside ME through this. How humbling!

You see, if we settle for quick solutions to situations, such as telling them they will never play with Legos again, or they’re grounded until Christmas, we don’t help them get to the heart of what is going on.

No encouragement or wisdom was provided, and they just can’t wait until you leave their room so they can be alone and in their little world of “peace.”

The only way to try to get to their heart issues is to begin with our own. And that is humbling.

In 1 Samuel 2:22-25, Eli had heard how his sons had been sinning, and he mildly rebuked them. He didn’t try to capture their hearts and get to the root of the problem, and the results were pretty bad for all of them.

We need to get our children to think about the “why” behind what drove them to a bad behavior.

“Why did you hit your sister? I know she made you angry, but look at the result of your hitting her. Is there a better way to respond to this?”

This is the long haul, folks. The opportunities are tiring, but we need to jump on them as they come up. And do it again and again. And know that they won’t get it right away.

WE won’t get it right away. But diligently pursuing our children the same way that our Lord diligently pursues us is what we should be all about.

He is continually patient, loving, and forgiving. We are thick headed. What a beautiful picture of the parent-child relationship! I am thick headed and my Heavenly Father is still lovingly pursuing me. Praise God for that!

And take that perfect analogy to heart with your relationship with your children. Lovingly pursue them. They won’t get it right away, but keep at it.

I love the visual Psalm 23 gives us. In verse 6 it says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

This psalm uses the analogy of a shepherd and sheep. The Lord is our shepherd. We as clueless sheep are herded by our loving Shepherd to the places to keep us safe and fed. I think of Goodness and Mercy as sheepdogs, running around the flock to make sure that we all stay together. Pursuing us in our ignorance, even nipping us on the ankles to keep us in line for our good.

The goodness and mercy of God is constantly pursuing us! Be like those sheepdogs. Run around YOUR “flock” to keep them together and in the right direction. Sometimes you have to nip them on the ankles or bark to redirect them. And it will be constant.

Yes, parenting is the long haul. Keep at it. Spend time praying for wisdom, you and your spouse. Work on YOUR hearts. This is a marathon, not a sprint, but it is the BEST endeavor you can do!

3 Reasons Why You Are Doing Great as a Mom

September 29, 2015

From the moment we bring our first child into our home it starts, doesn’t it? The questions, the doubt, the second-guessing. Do we give him a pacifier? How long should we let her cry in the crib before we go get her? Are we reading to him enough?

And it continues as they grow, too. Should we start music lessons AND soccer AND a foreign language? Is it time to give her some responsibility with a puppy? What about chores and allowance?

Believe me, the questions never end, even as they get older. And with all those questions, we do our research, educate ourselves, poll friends and family, pray, and then finally make a decision. Sometimes the choices we make work out great, other times…well, not so much.

Let me tell you. It is a given that we’ll have lots and lots of decisions to make. And some of those decisions are made out of a need for life support. We will miss out on those teaching moments once in a while because we are just plain tired. We’ll go through the drive through for dinner because there hasn’t been any time to grocery shop.

Then we begin to feel like we aren’t doing such a great job at this Mom thing. Oh, have I been there.

However, when you get to that point, I want to encourage you to think about some things that REALLY matter. The things that you are winning at!

  1. LOVE: Let’s face it. You love your kids. From the moment you held each of them in your arms, your heart grew an extension of itself which contained all this amazing ability to love even more. No matter how horribly the day goes, at its end, you can peek into their room, look at them while they are sleeping, and you feel that indescribable love. NO one can love your children the way you can. Tell them you love them. Don’t stop telling them (even if they say they already know). You are amazing at loving your children!
  2. TIME: You might see this one and say, “When do I have time to be with them?” We imagine time with our kids as a perfect greeting card moment where we are sitting on a picnic blanket while they set down the homemade sandwiches we made so they can fly their new kite that the two of you built together out of handmade paper and homespun string. We just don’t have space in our schedule for that kind of time.

But your children benefit from your time in ways you may not realize. You see, good time spent with them doesn’t have to always be quality time. They benefit from your time as you wash dishes in the kitchen while they sweep up the floor. They benefit from the time with you as they play with Legos in the living room and you sit on the couch folding clothes.

You see, the great conversations won’t always happen when you plan the perfect situations. They need quantity time for that quality time to happen. And often it will happen when you are putting groceries away or cooking dinner. Going about our days with our children is testimony to the amazing time you are spending with them.

  1. SELFLESSNESS: What can I say? Moms are selfless from the start. We get up with our children however many times we need to during the night when they are sick (and we’ll do it even when WE are sick!). We carefully cut their grapes in half for them when they are little. When there are two cookies left, we give our child the one with tons of chocolate chips and take the plain one for ourselves. We make sure they are buckled, bundled, and fed before we check our needs. If you are feeling guilty that you are not a good mom, just know that that guilt often stems from you telling yourself you aren’t doing enough for them. You are amazingly selfless!

It all boils down to the fact that you are FOR your children. You are trying to do your best with your resources and abilities. You get up each day and start over again, loving and serving them. You spend your time praying over them.

Let me encourage you. You are doing a great job because you are concerned you’re not doing a great job.

I’ll say that again: You are doing a great job because you are concerned you’re not doing a great job!

That concern should show you that you are wanting great things for your children. Call out to the Lord for His direction and His strength. Be faithful as you have been, doing the things you need to do each day…the ordinary things…because they need to be done. You see, THAT is what produces the extraordinary! God will bring fruit out of the work He has given you to do. Keep it up, Moms!