We do it everyday. We want to train our children well; we want to teach them how to do things correctly; we are concerned that they use the right words with the right motivation. So we correct them. We do it all the time. Sometimes that seems to be all that we ever say to them.
“No, you can’t throw your toys like that.”
“Honey, you don’t say, ‘I gots it.’ You say ‘I got it.’”
“Don’t say things like that to your sister. It hurts her feelings.”
“That math problem is wrong. You do it this way.”
You get the point.
But we do all this out of a desire to help our children learn, grow and become well-educated adults. Is that wrong? Of course not. However if that kind of correction – even gentle correction – is all they hear each day, they begin to feel like everything they do will need to be fixed. They may not feel like trying.
It is very easy to find the incorrect things our children do. And of course, we need to instruct our children when we see them making mistakes.
But it is much harder to remember to praise them for the things they are doing that are correct. It requires effort and purpose. We need to seek out the right things they are doing and praise them for it. You just don’t know how powerful your words can be to your children. A kind word of encouragement lifts them up and makes them feel able.
Make a point today to seek out something good you see your children doing and let them know about it.
“You were so kind to let your brother play with your toy.”
“I am impressed at how quickly you learned those spelling words!”
Do it each day. And don’t just look for things they have no control over. Saying you are so pretty doesn’t speak to their character or their abilities. Look for behaviors, skills, heart issues and praise them! It will empower them and fill them up!
