My husband’s birthday is very close to Father’s Day. So though it is tempting to combine both of those events into one celebration, we try to celebrate his birthday a week before or a week after Father’s Day so we can specifically remember his birthday as a separate event. Well, this past weekend, as part of the festivities, I took him out to his favorite restaurant. When our waitress brought the bill, I told her I was paying. But as I took the bill and placed my credit card in it, I kind of felt like this:
You see, my husband and I share all our finances. When we first got married, I was working full time and he was finishing up school. Two years later, within the time frame of about a month, he graduated, began working full time, I quit my job, and I had our first child. So our financial transition was a quick one — going from MY single income to HIS single income. And it has been that way for much of our married life.
Slowly, as our children grew, I began generating some income by writing books and speaking. Now that our children are all grown (though some still live at home while in college), I have more time to do a little more writing and speaking and am adding to our budget.
But he still provides the lions’ share. And, believe me, I am grateful.
However, throughout our marriage, I struggled with giving him gifts that were bought with money he earned.
I know. I know. We work as a unit, in a covenant, as one. What I do for our household while I care for, train, and educate our children is beyond dollar value. Even if I never, ever was given a paycheck, I am contributing to our family in critical ways.
So why do I sometimes struggle with this? Why did I feel like little Lilo this weekend, asking for money so she could be the one to pay?
Frankly, it is because I let the enemy whisper to me that what I do isn’t important. That motherhood is “less than” what any woman could do. That I am kept and paid for, just like all of our children.
This is just not true. Our culture may give lip service at Mother’s Day to all of us moms, but it really makes all mothers feel like we are sub-par if we are JUST moms.
Sweet mama. If you are feeling like that today, I want you to know that you are doing one of the greatest endeavors you can do. You are training and raising the next generation. You are the glue who keeps your household together. You help them eat better and sleep better. You can give hugs and console little ones in a way no other person on earth can.
As our culture thinks it is becoming more “enlightened,” it is forgetting the importance of some of the foundational relationships and roles given to us by our Creator. What a blessing it is when we carry out what God has for us to do. It may be tedious at some times. And it may not be glamorous. But you need to constantly remind yourself you ARE valuable and you do valuable work.
Even if it means that you have to pay for things from a joint account. That income was made not just because of your husband’s hard work but also because of the support you are giving to your husband so that he can DO his work.
It is both of yours together, and you shouldn’t feel like it is just his.
And neither should I. 🙂
